Happy Women's Day 2024: When care work is shared

Our colleagues at FES Bangladesh recognize the vital role of care work. In the Asia-Pacific region, women bear the weight of unpaid care work, playing a crucial yet often overlooked role. It's time to shift the narrative and foster equality. We advocate for shared responsibilities, urging everyone to balance domestic and non-domestic work.

Let's break free from traditional gender norms and embrace 'share the care.' This International Women's Day, let's celebrate the strength and resilience of women, acknowledging the unsung heroines in every home.

Together, let's create a world where care is a shared responsibility, irrespective of gender.

Here is Hansraj Yadav, a Homeopathy physician, and his wife, Suvidha Yadav, a former Sarpanch turned active member of the Panchayat (village council). Their story embodies the essence of shared care work and equal partnership in marriage.

In the village of Aklempur, Rajasthan, India, Hansraj and Suvidha Yadav seamlessly balanced their professional and domestic responsibilities. When Suvidha embarked on her journey into politics, Hansraj stepped up to manage household chores, childcare, and even tended to their farmland, ensuring their family thrived in her absence.

Despite the challenges of limited transportation in rural India, Hansraj wholeheartedly supported his wife, accompanying her to training centers and meetings far from home. He recognized that Suvidha's career in politics required equal contributions from all family members, and he embraced his role as an active participant in care work and household duties.

For Hansraj, his formula for a successful partnership lies in unconditional support for his wife's endeavors. He views himself not just as a husband, but as a dedicated family member and equal partner in their marriage.

Hansraj Yadav's unwavering support and commitment to shared care work is an example of how we can create homes and communities where equality, respect, and mutual support flourish.

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Panchayati Raj Institution is a form local-self-governance at the village level in India. The body which is elected by the local citizens is entrusted with the task of rural development. Encouraged by the political participation of women in Panchayats, many states in India have increased reservation of seats for women to 50 per cent. By law, 1/3rd of the seats is reserved for women.

Meet Jayanta Roy, a Kolkata-based freelance artist in India, who is redefining traditional gender roles with his remarkable dedication to care work. His wife Meenakshi, a Fine Arts professor, commutes to work while Jayanta holds down the fort at home. But his role goes beyond mere homemaking – it's about embracing care as a shared responsibility.

In a society where gender norms often dictate household duties, Jayanta stands as a beacon of change. He spends quality time nurturing their 9-year-old son, from packing his school lunch to cheering him on during football matches. But his care extends beyond the immediate family; Jayanta also tends to his 82-year-old father with love and compassion.

For Jayanta, caregiving knows no gender. He champions the belief that both parents play vital roles in raising a child. In his eyes, care isn't a formula but a collaborative effort, much like a harmonious duet in music. In a South Asian joint family setup, cooperation and understanding among members are key to managing care responsibilities effectively.

Jayanta's story serves as a reminder that breaking stereotypes isn't just about challenging norms; it's about embracing empathy, equality, and cooperation within the family unit. Let's celebrate individuals like Jayanta who are paving the way for a more inclusive and compassionate society.

We shine a spotlight on Klinsmen, the dedicated driver at FES Indonesia, whose role extends far beyond the steering wheel. Klinsmen opens up about his invaluable contributions to care work at home, showcasing the power of shared responsibilities and unwavering support.

Beyond his professional duties, Klinsmen's domestic duties revolve around supporting his wife, ensuring her smooth commute to work, and assisting with weekly grocery runs. For him, these tasks aren't just optional – they're essential in nurturing a harmonious household.

Klinsmen firmly believes in the importance of men's involvement in household and childcare responsibilities. Recognizing the weight his wife carries, both at work and home, he strives to lighten her load. He understands that being prepared to step in during her absence isn't just a choice – it's a responsibility born out of love and solidarity.

Klinsmen's secret to maintaining balance lies in open communication and unwavering teamwork. By sharing tasks and supporting each other, they create a conducive environment where both partners can thrive. Whether it's lending a hand in the kitchen or tidying up after a meal, Klinsmen exemplifies the true essence of partnership.

In Klinsmen's story, we find inspiration in the simplicity of caring and the strength found in togetherness. Let's celebrate redefining gender roles and fostering a culture of equality and support within their families.

Let's take a moment to celebrate the partnership of Lestari and Ugochukwu, a dynamic duo navigating the joys and challenges of raising their son, Junior, in Jakarta. Ugo, Lestari's Nigerian husband, shares his perspective on the importance of shared care work at home.

Ugo takes pride in his role in domestic care work, particularly enjoying ironing clothes, but he emphasizes that his contributions extend beyond this. He believes that everyone in a household should be active participants in domestic chores, emphasizing that marriage is a partnership, not a master-servant relationship.

According to Ugo, balance in care work at home is crucial for a happy and harmonious household. He highlights the importance of proper time management and understanding each other's strengths and preferences. By working together and supporting each other, tasks become less stressful, and the home becomes a happier place.

Dawiah is a home-based worker from North Jakarta, Indonesia. Her husband Usman shares responsibilities of domestic care work. They believe that sharing responsibilities not only strengthens their bond but also sets an example for their children. 

Sharing the load at home is all about stepping in when necessary, irrespective of gender.

In Korea, the landscape of domestic and care work is evolving, but there's still ground to cover in our journey towards true equality. While it's heartening to see a rise in men's participation in household duties, it's essential to recognize that the narrative around caregiving must shift from "helping" to mutual responsibility.

Let's foster conversations that promote mutual understanding and cooperation within our homes. By acknowledging and valuing the contributions of each individual, we can create a more equitable society where caregiving is truly a shared endeavor.

G. Chinsanaa, new father of a young family, emphasizes “an awareness of one’s duty” as an influencing factor for the equal share not only for household chores but on every aspect of life.

He reflects on the historical division of labor, where men were tasked with physical strength-based activities like hunting and protection, leaving domestic care work primarily to women and girls. However, he emphasizes that in today's 21st century, the paradigm has shifted. G. Chinsanaa highlights the importance of emotional intelligence and harmony within the family unit.

"In a balanced life filled with love and respect, raising a child, and pursuing a career, it's crucial to recognize the shared responsibility between partners," G. Chinsanaa remarks. He emphasizes that decision-making within a family should be a collaborative effort, where the strengths and contributions of both partners are valued and respected.

As we navigate the complexities of modern family life, let's regard G. Chinsanaa's words and strive for equality, harmony, and mutual respect. Together, we can create homes where care work is shared.

Baburam Nepali comes from a marginalised Dalit community. His wife is Shambhu Nepali Chauhan, an elected ward member of the local government in Sandikharka Municipality of Arghakhanchi, Nepal.

Baburam, is a daily wage worker and shares responsibilities on domestic chores. He believes that household work should be shared among all members of the household, regardless of gender or caste.

He emphasizes the importance of men’s involvement in household and childcare, highlighting that in a family one should support one other within the family.

His formula for achieving balanced care work at home is simple yet profound, “Everyone has to fulfill their responsibility to maintain balance at home. When everyone works together, the home is better."

Baburam’s story is a powerful reminder that true equality begins within the walls of our homes.

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Translated from Nepali to English

Photographer: Milan G.C

Photo Courtesy: Nepal Dalit Utthan Sangh (NDUS)

Bechan Kapar, originally from Sarlahi and currently residing in Kathmandu recalls how he realized the importance of making life easier for his working wife.

Bechan adopted a collaborative approach to the daily tasks and never felt embarrassed about participating in household work. He believes that a wife's strength contributes to the overall strength of the husband and family. As a team, they continue to deconstruct traditional gender norms, understanding that household chores are not specific to any gender. Understanding the challenges of inflation in Kathmandu, his wife took up employment. Bechan recognized his wife's exhaustion after work and together they devised a system where, in the afternoons, he would return home from the shop to cook dinner for the family. They found fulfillment and happiness in breaking away from conventional norms.

He wants all to recognize that care work is innately ingrained in every individual. No one should burden others, especially not placing the entirety on one's spouse, with the responsibilities of household chores.

The essence of shared care work transcends individual stories. Hear more on how him and his family embraced the intrinsic value of shared care work, creating a home filled with mutual understanding, respect and shared responsibilities.

Embark on a journey with Suresh Shrestha, a resident of Kathmandu, Nepal, whose story of shared care work and family unity highlights a journey of love and equality.

Suresh and his wifehave been married for nine years. In their pursuit of providing the best for their child and nurturing a thriving family, Suresh takes on the morning responsibilities, attending to both their child and household chores.

In the mornings, Suresh prepares breakfast and ensures their child is ready for school. His wife, upon her return from office, takes charge of household chores in the evenings. Their shared commitment extends beyond the confines of their home such as leisurely walks and joint grocery shopping for quality time with each other. Occasionally, the couple finds joy in preparing meals together, strengthening their bond. He emphasizes that engaging children in household chores instills vital life skills, preparing them for adulthood and he wants to set an example for his child too.

Suresh dismisses the notion of asking for help, recognizing that chores are shared responsibilities. Suresh's idea for equality in care work is simple yet profound - a fair distribution of responsibilities and flexibility. Within their home, both contributions are valued equally.

In the heart of Kathmandu, Suresh’s family exemplifies a shared journey weaving together equality and mutual support for each other.

Meet Rimsha and Kashif, a vibrant young couple rewriting the script of domestic life in their Pakistani household. Together, they embrace shared responsibilities, recognizing the importance of an equal division of labor.

In their home, Kashif not only fulfills his duties at work but also takes an active role in domestic chores. From cooking and dishwashing to occasional house cleaning, Kashif breaks free from traditional gender roles, contributing to a more balanced and harmonious household.

Rimsha and Kashif's partnership symbolizes a significant shift towards gender equality within Pakistani households. By sharing domestic responsibilities, they pave the way for a more serene and stress-free life for both women and men. This evolution not only allows couples to enjoy leisure time together but also empowers women to pursue opportunities outside the home, rather than being solely confined to household chores and caregiving tasks.

As we celebrate Rimsha and Kashif's journey, let's reflect on the importance of equality at home. Together, we can create environments where shared responsibilities foster mutual respect, harmony, and freedom for all.

Join Nimfa Atienza and Nico Forteza as they tell their story of how they broke down traditional gender roles in their household.

This video is more than just a story. It's a call to action for all couples to embrace true partnership. It dives into the core of gender justice and the importance of truly hearing and valuing each other's voices in a relationship. Discover how Nico's experience with Gender Sensitivity Training sparked a transformative shift in their lives, leading to a more equitable and supportive partnership. They highlight shared as a means to truly empower women in a household.

Meet Kim, a resilient transman, and his partner, Sam-ard, carving their path in Pathumthani province, Thailand. Despite societal norms, they share care work with love and equality.

Kim shares, “We both earn for our family but we manage to take turns looking after our son.” Sam-ard adds, “We have our own formula. If it’s my wife’s day-off, she would take care of the cooking part, I do the cleaning."

Their home reflects Kim's vibrant spirit, filled with plants he lovingly tends to. Kim dreams of starting a plant business, saying, “I’m planning to start a plant business so I could earn more for my family.”

In the face of challenges, Kim and Sam-ard draw strength from each other. Kim shares, “Together, we would build a future filled with hope and possibility."

Kim's story resonates the power of love, perseverance, and the importance of sharing care work at home.

Join us in celebrating the inspiring journey of Ko Kyaw and Ma Hnin Si, migrant workers from Myanmar, who exemplify the beauty of shared care work at home.

In their apartment on the outskirts of Bangkok, Ko Kyaw and Ma Hnin Si balance their roles as breadwinners and caregivers with grace and determination. While Ko Kyaw works as a helper in a building materials store, Ma Hnin Si manages their employer's household as a housemaid.

Despite their busy schedules, Ko Kyaw and Ma Hnin Si prioritize sharing household chores and caring for their two children. Ko Kyaw expresses, “I often ask if my wife is tired. She seems exhausted at the end of the day so I always tell her to sit back and relax and I will do the chores today.”

Their home and workplace are conveniently close, allowing them to bring their children to the employer’s house when needed, demonstrating their commitment to family and teamwork.

For Ko Kyaw and Ma Hnin Si, household chores are a shared responsibility. “If I get tired, my wife takes care of the rest but if she is tired, I will be the one who does all the household jobs. We always share different tasks at home,” Ko Kyaw affirms.

Amidst the challenges of migrant life, they find solace in their shared love and support for one another, proving that resilience knows no bounds when care work is shared.

Let's take inspiration from Ko Kyaw and Ma Hnin Si's story and remember the importance of sharing care work at home. Together, we can create homes filled with love, equality, and mutual support.

Meet Narong, a dedicated husband and father, whose journey from a small township in Shan State, Myanmar to the bustling streets of Bangkok, Thailand is nothing short of inspiring. Alongside his wife Kwan, they've weathered the challenges of migration, work, and parenthood with unwavering determination.

Narong reflects on their journey, "We met in Maesai, decided to build a life together, but soon dreams of a better future led us to Bangkok." Their decision to move to Bangkok wasn't just about work opportunities; it was about creating a better life for their family.

Despite the demands of their jobs and raising two sons, Narong and Kwan share household responsibilities equally. "House chores aren't about sharing the burden," Narong emphasizes, "it's about a family activity we do together."

For nearly 30 years, they've shown that teamwork at home knows no boundaries. "We've never assigned tasks or roles," Kwan adds, "we simply support each other whenever and wherever needed."

Their story showcases the power of partnership and shared responsibility. Let’s celebrate Narong’s commitment to equality within home.

Our colleague at FES Thailand, Thanit Herabat shoulders the numerous responsibilities that define domestic care work. From the upkeep of his living space, cleaning, laundry, and dishwashing, to the more nuanced duties of bill payments, cooking, and intricacies of home maintenance - Thanit creates an environment that radiates tidiness and comfort. In a society undergoing the inevitable process of aging, Thanit dedicates his weekends to his retired parents, assisting in tasks ranging from home maintenance to planting trees. It is a familial collaboration, and interchange between generations bonding over cooking, cultivating, and the shared pursuit of quality time with the family.

"Why is it necessary for men to participate in household chores and child care?" Thanit contemplates. He believes it is the delicate balance of responsibilities within a household; a balance grounded in open communication, mutual agreement, and celebration of unique strengths and preferences of each family member. Gender, he emphasizes, should never be the deciding factor. For Thanit, sharing care work is rooted in fairness and flexibility, irrespective of gender norms. Within the walls of his condominium and the homes of his aging parents, each individual's contribution is recognized and valued, creating an atmosphere where warmth thrives through shared responsibilities.

In Thanit Herabat's life, the essence lies in the quality time spent with loved ones – a testament to the belief that the shared domestic work fosters deepest connections. His story invites us to reflect on the importance of shared care work, urging us to create homes filled with love, equality, and mutual support.

Giang Pham Hoang, our colleague from the Vietnam office, shares his perspectives on the importance of sharing care work at home.

Giang strongly believes in the necessity for men to actively participate in household chores and childcare. He emphasizes that this involvement is essential for promoting gender equality and nurturing stronger families. He rarely cooks but takes on the responsibilities of cleaning, laundry, childcare, paying bills and maintenance.

His formula for sharing care work equally at home revolves around open communication and collaboration. He suggests having a conversation with one's partner to discuss household responsibilities and childcare needs. By understanding each person's strengths, preferences, and availability, a fair distribution of tasks can be determined. Giang advocates for making a list of all household chores and childcare responsibilities, then dividing them based on preferences, skills, and availability.

Giang Pham Hoang’s approach of prioritising open communication and collaboration is a testament that together we can create environments where care work is shared, valued and appreciated by all.

Our colleague from the Vietnam Office shares the importance of sharing care work at home.

Living with his brother's family, Lam Nguyen Tung embraces his role in domestic care work with enthusiasm and dedication. His responsibilities include a wide range of tasks, from dishes and laundry to cleaning, caring for the plants and looking after his brother’s child. He joyfully shares, “We all take turns looking after the baby, which is always so much fun.” He believes in a flexible approach when it comes to sharing care work at home.

Lam Nguyen Tung recognizes the necessity for men to be actively involved in household chores and childcare. He emphasizes that domestic care work requires both mental and physical strength and should not be trivialized. “Sharing this responsibility is important for it to become a mutual task, not a burden on any individual,” he emphasizes. Furthermore, Lam Nguyen Tung highlights the importance of deconstructing the power dynamics associated with patriarchy, affirming that domestic care work is a genderless task.

Let's draw inspiration from Lam Nguyen Tung's perspective and strive to create homes filled with equality, mutual support, and shared responsibility. Together, we can break free from traditional gender roles and foster environments where care work is valued and shared by all.